i feel a lone flare in the night sky
even though I know better
he will never follow the light of my vigil back to this life
he will never return
and still i burn for him
a pathetic and obvious exercise in futility
i want him
always
always
always
i'm habituated to the dull ache
there, always, in the periphery
even when i am happy
still incomplete
tonight the dull ache is sharp and stings
self-flagellation
where did i go wrong
where
where
where
he feels like a memory that only i can remember
i think he is fading out of existence
one day i will stand alone
still waiting
still waiting
still waiting
for him to follow my burning heart
and come home.
