moving

Last week I gave notice to my work.  I'm quitting.  By mid-August we will be in Portland, Oregon.  It'll be two years behind our original schedule.

We were supposed to move the fall after George was born.  I was going to graduate, pass my board exam, and then have George all with in a six week stretch back in 2010.  I'd have six months to stay at home with him full-time while I got my license and looked for a job in Oregon.  That plan disintegrated pretty quickly in March of that same year.  After he died I was emotionally incapable of leaving the home that we had built here.

I'm ready now, for the most part, I think.  But the nostalgia for a city that I haven't even left yet has already started to kick in.  I've lived here, in different parts of the city, for the better part nearly thirteen years.  For all its faults, Los Angeles is a pretty fucking rad place to live while you're young.

I'd be lying if I said that I wasn't nervous about the move.  My parents, my sister and her daughters are all less than a couple hours drive from my house so I see them fairly frequently.  My sister and I are very close and I love my nieces like they were my own.  The thought of leaving them makes me sick to my stomach.

We've made really amazing friends here too.  Some are the kind of friends you know that only come along once or twice in a lifetime.

Oh, and the weather.  The lovely, lovely, sunny weather.  As a Californian, born and raised, the adjustment to the cold and rainy weather in Portland is going to be a huge adjustment for me.

But there is so much to look forward to as well.  Leif's entire family lives within a forty minute drive of Downtown Portland.

It looks like two of our best friends -another set that only comes along once or twice in a lifetime- are coming home to Portland from The Netherlands the same time we are moving there.  Which, I admit, I cried a little out of excitement at the thought of being able to live near them again and being able to watch our kids grow up together (no pressure Natalie but you better be coming home...lol).

We will finally be able to buy our own home.  Maybe, just maybe, my dream of owning a big chunk of property with a renovated barn and lots of room for guests will come true while we live there.
And, of course, Portland is just about the most awesome city I've ever been to (Barcelona a close second).    So there is that too.

You'll have to excuse me if over the next three months I get a little weepy around here while we prepare to move.  I can't help it.  I'm gonna miss Los Angeles.

P.S.  Also, if you know of any tricks to make a move to another state easier I'd love to hear them.

sad book

While in Kauai (before the flooding) Leif and I stumbled upon a used book sale at the local public library.  We nabbed about ten books for Clio, which helped us get through the next four trapped days without losing our minds.  Most of the books we grabbed we did solely based on the cover art because it was crazy crowded and Clio was getting fussy.  This one was a surprise.

Obviously it is too old and too heavy to read to Clio anytime soon.  I think one day it will be a good tool to use to explain to her about her brother and how sometimes her mom and dad feel sad.  

*I did a little research and learned that Michael Rosen's 18 year old son died from bacterial meningitis.  I recognize so much of my own grief in this book.  Death is death and sad is sad.  You know, what I mean?


Michael Rosen's Sad Book

hawaii

So last month Leif and I went on vacation to Hawaii.  While we in Kauai there was an unseasonable storm and we were literally stuck in our rental unit for three full days due to flooding.  At the time it was really shitty but we can laugh about it now.  Who can say that their vacation was literally declared a disaster by the government?  Seriously, there were Red Cross tents set up and emergency evacuation warnings and all kinds of other very un-fun vacationy things going on.

Oh well.  We still ended up having a good time, especially when we finally made it off Kauai and to Maui.


I've been meaning to share some photos for the last four weeks but just haven't gotten around to it until now.  Clio has recently decided that when she is awake, and that is most of the time now (naps?  not for her), she only wants to play with me.  She is currently napping -a rare moment- and so I am taking the time to slap these up here.

Kauai 

The 200sq ft studio guest house we were stuck in for three days.  There are worse places to be stuck, right?

The valley where we stayed.  That river there in the corner was what flooded, drowning the entire valley.

The only day that the weather was nice enough to go to the beach while in Kauai.  Makeshift tent for baby.  Creepy stalker poultry.

River flooding.

Last day in Kauai.

Maui

Probably the most beautiful view I'll ever have while breastfeeding.

Clio couldn't get enough of the water.  We gave up trying to get her to stop licking the water in the pool and in the ocean.  

My dear friend Jennie met us in Maui for the conference I went to.  

Rawrrrrrrr!!!!!

george's birthday

Last year we headed west.  This year we headed east.

We stayed in Idyllwild, which is about 2 1/2 hours from Los Angeles in the San Jacinto mountains.

Our cabin was by a small stream.  Right before 4:00 we made our way up the stream along with George's photos, our journal, and his ashes.  

We had the intent of leaving some of his ashes to find their way in the stream to the ocean but apparently his urn is like Fort Knox and we weren't able to get it open.  It was a bit of a disappointment as it had taken us two years to work up the courage to look at them only to be thwarted by the seemingly simplistic copper box.

Clio enjoyed herself, although I'm not quite sure how she felt about the incredibly huge snow jacket we made her wear.

Two years seems like an eternity and like an instant.  Oh how very much we wish we could have both our babies.