(almost) working

The last two days have been filled with four interviews, a dozen handshakes, a permanent not-totally-genuine smile plastered on my face, and the same questions about my strengths and weaknesses.  How does that saying go?  Feast or Famine?  When it rains it pours?  Whichever, I have been spending a lot of time in my car, driving around town in my suit.  I have two more interviews scheduled for later this week.

Why is it so difficult to find a flattering suit?  Every time I put on my "interviewing" slacks and jacket I feel like if it were silver I would make a pretty convincing tin man -or woman, in this case- for Halloween.  

Anyway, I guess this means that I will probably start working soon.  I figure at least one of these places might want to hire me.  Take a chance on a new graduate?  Perhaps.  Fingers crossed.  Not having to work these last months has been great but at the same time being at home and alone for most of the day has not been particularly healthy for me.  Physically or mentally or emotionally.  Especially emotionally. Netflix, the internet, the refrigerator and I have become too close.

I need some responsibility.  As things are I have very little of that going on in my life, which for a long time after George died was what I needed.  But now the most I do during my days is clean the house and make dinner.  Last night was sunchoke and leek soup with tarragon and roasted garlic.  I get bored and so Leif ends up eating pretty well.

I used to be terrified at the kind of responsibility I was going to have practicing medicine but now I almost find it welcoming.  I am growing weary of living inside of myself.  I want to take care of other people again.

Well, as it turns out Leif is sick today.  Poor guy woke up with a sore throat and stuffy head but he had to go in to work anyway.  He was going to only go in for a half day but is probably going to be there until he normally gets off work because someone else called in sick today.  I think that is called, responsibility.

For dinner tonight I'm making something that will be easy on his throat.  I'm going to take care of him.

I may not have a lot of responsibility in my life right now but I do have a lot of love.