.the birds don't know it is time for bed.

It is so late. Again.  I am awake and this time so is Leif. 

Apparently the birds are also having trouble sleeping because they are outside making quite a bit of noise. Usually it is pretty quiet around here except for the sound of the birds chattering away outside our windows (and the more than occasional helicopter but that is par for the course living in Los Angeles).  But for some reason these birds chirping at the wrong time is weirding me out. 

I feel a familiar sense of anxiety like when I haven't been able to sleep before a big event/test/trip and the early morning hours have crept up on me, as signified by the beginning chorus of birds, and I realize that I am quickly running out of time to get some rest.  But tomorrow is not a day for me to be anxious about, except maybe for the fact that Leif is going back to work.  He is my safety and my comfort and I am sad that he has to go back to work.

Two days ago a bouquet of flowers that we got after George died began to wilt and the petals began to fall off.  That struck me as so sad because it meant that time was not frozen and eventually I would have to learn to accept this new reality. 


But life goes on.  That is one thing that I am learning more about everyday. 


"You must do the things you think you cannot do."
Eleanor Roosevelt